Ketika Tangan Tuhan Menciptakan Seorang Wanita

Ketika Tuhan menciptakan wanita, malaikat datang dan bertanya, "Mengapa kau begitu lama menciptakan wanita Tuhan? "
 

Tuhan menjawab, "Sudahkah engkau melihat setiap detail yang saya ciptakan untuk wanita?"

"Dua tangannya mampu menjaga banyak anak pada saat bersamaan, punya pelukan yang dapat menyembuhkan sakit hati dan keterpurukan, dan semua itu hanya dengan dua tangan".

Malaikat menjawab dan takjub, "Hanya dengan 2 tangan? Tidak mungkin!”

Tuhan menjawab, "Tidakkah kau tau, dia juga mampu menyembuhkan dirinya sendiri dan bisa bekerja 18 jam sehari.”

Malaikat mendekat dan mengamati wanita tersebut, dan bertanya, " Tuhan, kenapa wanita terlihat begitu lelah dan rapuh? seolah-olah terlalu banyak beban baginya...."

Tuhan menjawab "Itu tidak seperti yang kau bayangkan, 

itu adalah air mata...."

"Untuk apa ?" tanya malaikat.

Tuhan melanjutkan, "Air mata adalah salah satu cara dia mengekspresikan kegembiraan, kegalauan, cinta, kesepian, penderitaan, dan kebanggaan.... serta wanita ini mempunyai kekuatan mempesona laki-laki...ini hanya beberapa kemampuan yang dimiliki wanita."

"Dia dapat mengatasi beban lebih dari laki-laki, dia mampu menyimpan kebahagiaan dan pendapatnya sendiri....."

"Dia mampu tersenyum saat hatinya menjerit, mampu menyanyi saat menangis,  menangis saat terharu, bahkan tertawa saat ketakutan.."

"Dia berkorban demi orang yang dicintainya.."

"Dia mampu berdiri melawan ketidakadilan."

"Dia menangis saat melihat anaknya adalah pemenang...."

"Dia girang dan bersorak saat kawannya tertawa bahagia..."

"Dia begitu bahagia mendengar suara kelahiran...."

"Dia begitu bersedih mendengar berita kesakitan dan kematian, tapi dia mampu mengatasinya... 

Dia tau bahwa sebuah ciuman dan pelukan dapat menyembuhkan luka...."

"Cintanya tanpa syarat.."

”Hanya ada satu yang kurang dari wanita, dia sering lupa betapa berharga dirinya..”

Wanita, Anda berharga dan mulia di hadapan Tuhan. Dalam kerapuhan dan kelemahanmu, Tuhan menaruh suatu kekuatan yang tidak dimiliki oleh para laki-laki. Gunakan kekuatan yang Tuhan berikan itu untuk menolong dan memberkati para laki-laki dihidupmu.

Oleh karena engkau berharga di mata-Ku dan mulia, dan Aku ini mengasihi engkau, maka Aku memberikan manusia sebagai gantimu, dan bangsa-bangsa sebagai ganti nyawamu.

~ Yesaya 43:4

Sumber : Pesan Facebook

Dear Parents... 

I hope that I can help a friend or two here by writing this article. This is my true intension and instead of just personally attacking someone for how they choose to live their lives, I thought it would be better to make some people "think" and hopefully they will make changes for the sake of their children and move towards a more positive future. After growing up around two very different neighborhoods, I do think I know about "spoiling children" since originally I came from a very humble background and neighborhood. 

When I moved to a more affluent neighborhood eventually, I definitely saw the difference in how the children were being "rewarded" and not disciplined. It was very obvious that the parents were less emotionally involved and more interested in making money and "keeping up with the Jones" as my father used to say. Some of the kids I knew had brand new foreign cars when they first got their drivers licenses.

I am thankful for my experiences in two different places because it taught me the difference in the "haves," "the have nots," and the "have...but not pretending they are royalty." Dear Parents, what you really need to think about before you buy that little girl a pony is how this will effect her after she leaves the nest.

If you are planning elaborate functions for children who are not near their "sweet sixteen," I would definitely sit down and think about "why you feel the need to impress anyone?" Is there a lack of intimacy in your household? Is it that you are too busy with your professional lives and trying to "keep the peace" in your home or with your spouse and family since you are never around? I have been to many of these so called "expensive" elaborate events (in many parts of Los Angeles) as a child and as an adult and as the kids got older they just expected more and more. A lot of them ended up with serious drug problems and lifelong therapy sessions.

Some really hated their parents for not giving them "love" and "buying them off" as they used to say. Eventually when these parents got divorced (which usually always happens ; sorry to say), the children got caught up in what I call "who is going to pay for my lifestyle now?" I saw this happen with a friend of mine who was married for 25 years before she got divorced and when her daughter asked if she could keep her pony, my friend said "ask your father." Her father then told her "ask your mother" and it went on and on until the pony eventually was sold and the young girl went into depression before she went to college. 

Sound good to you? This is the sort of stuff that happens. Also if you have daughters and you treat them as princesses, they have a worse chance of meeting a "good hard working, respectful man" in the future because all the "flash" that they are accustomed too is not to be seen in the initial dating phase. Remember if they marry for money, they will pay for it. And so will you when Mr. Jerk off shows up. It is like a "domino effect" and it just keeps going and going into future generations. Please, tell me how many wealthy people you know are really actually nice? Not many. Why? Because they are too stressed out about keeping it all and making the delusion last forever!!! So, think about it every time you "give in" and try to keep "up" another parent in your neighborhood or impress a client who has kids in your kids schools.

Here is the point...if you have gone too far and this article has made you realize it then here are a few things you can do to change things. Start creating chores for your children and come up with a list of money rewards like a quarter for each chore so they understand about the value of money. Make sure your kids go and help at a "homeless shelter" or "soup kitchen" during the holidays once a year to remind them about "real life." If possible, plan intimate dinners for celebrations or birthdays instead of elaborate ones. Even if you want to impress a client, make it intimate for the sake of your kids. You can impress your clients and other parents by hiring a good chef. 

Growing up and marrying into different situations, my life could have gone any way I wanted it too. After all everyone has choices. I chose to move my kids out of Los Angeles so that they can look into the fishbowl and understand the difference. I do have my production company in Los Angeles, but the kids are rarely there. This can happen anywhere though. Anywhere people move to be in the place that makes them look "successful." Los Angeles, New York, London, Paris and more. My company has very big clients in foreign countries that deal with entertainment and branding but I never bring the kids around it. I took them to a commercial set once when they were young and just recently so they can see how hard it is to make television (I'm hoping they have normal jobs one day ; Please God). 

When they sat there for 4 hours watching the same scenes play over and over again while they were filming and met the cast, they were not impressed at all. I also keep them away from spoiled children as much as possible and they have even complained about "how hard some kids try to impress them." So, even if they get good gifts once in a while, the focus is not on "what other people have" and "why they have less?" God knows children have enough pressure in their social circles to have to compete about other things too. So, one day when you are in a bad place with your child (hopefully not), maybe you will see what I was saying here in this article. It may be a good idea to bookmark this. One thing for sure that I will always do....nomatter what... I will always let my children know is that their "hearts are not for sale" and either is mine.


THE MOTHERLESS MOTHER

A Reflection...  

The last thing I want from anyone is to be pitied. I spent my whole life trying to keep my chin up and move onto the adult that I have become. I am a very strong person and let me assure you I am also a very happy and content woman. I'm also an excellent mother and I am very proud of this! Now that I have gotten that out of the way, I'm finally writing after about 37 years about something that is always on my mind especially around Mother's Day.

Many people close to me know my situation and the tragedy that overwhelmed my childhood. I was telling my children the other day about an old friend of mine in elementary school. She made fun of me in front of all of my friends at school after my mothers death and I never forgot it. Especially since her mother was close friends with my mother before it all happened.

Children can be cruel and I have witnessed this on many occasions with my young children now who are both in elementary school. I often blame the parents when I see a child act out in such a strong way. I have written many poems about losing my mother throughout the years and I have tried really hard to be a wonderful and a giving mother to my two children. I was terrified of becoming a mother at one point in my life because frankly I never had a good example because my mother died when I was eight.

My grandmother (her mother) was my saving grace and I was very lucky to have her. When this child who made fun of me came begging for work and money many years later, I hung up on her and refused to help. I felt like one of those talk shows when someone from the past comes and begs for forgiveness. I did feel bad, but I could not forgive the pain that she illuminated when I was a child. 

Now, I'm very good at forgiveness and I work on this whenever something comes up that brings up old feelings.
It is interesting for me to see the stories this weekend on aol and how the internet has become so "in your face" on holidays. The stories that I saw at the bottom of a nice one about MOTHERS were shocking. One in particular was of a boy who was tortured and molested by his mother who was a prostitute for eight years and it not only shocked me but compelled me to write this.

I always wonder if I was ever better off without my mother in my life because of her life struggles and the chaos. I remember feeling relieved when she finally passed because my life was spent in turmoil for many years. I felt guilty for feeling relieved for years, but there was only so much I could handle at such a young age. After reading this horror story on aol this morning, I silently thanked god that nothing like that happened to me.

My mother inflicted pain on herself and unfortunately we were around taking part in her troubles by just experiencing it from a distance. Sort of like watching a crazy movie that just never had a good ending. Parks were always a very painful place for me because you always see mothers with their children there and when mine was gone, I felt it. Later on when I took my own children to parks, I felt it again in such a surreal way. I remember the moment that I put my bare feet in the sand after many years and everything flashed back like it was yesterday. Strange.

I still feel this emotion once in a while and it comes on strong especially if I'm alone and the kids are not around. Once in a blue moon it will hit me and I can't function or move for a while. Like a wave of panic or anxiety and I have to try hard to move myself forward. I often think that the best word to describe this is "frozen." Like my whole body and mind just "stop."

Inspiration....  

I know many people who have grown up with their mothers and have complicated relationships. All I can say is that if this is you, you should try to bring the relationship to a good place before they leave this earth. I'm sure there are others reading this who have had tragic experiences like I did and let me assure you there is a way to leave it all behind.

I remember after my mothers death hiding everything like it was a deep and dark secret. Infact I never spoke about it until my thirties when I experienced a flow of depression that happens to a lot of people who lose parents when they are young. It is sort of a delayed emotional trauma that hits you later on when you least expect it. There are books that can help with this and my favorite book that I still read once in a while basically laid it all out so I could see the facts. It is called "Never The Same" By Donna Schuurman.

This book was given to me by an old acquaintance who was producing a show that the writer of this book was a guest on. I will be forever thankful for this book. My sister has also read it and it was very healing to see how we were both effected in different ways at different ages. I will always thank this person for bringing it to me. 

I'm A Mother...After so many years have passed, I often get excited about Mother's Day when my children make a big deal about me. Sometimes I look at them and I just can't believe I'm here with these wonderful beings! I often stare at them like a child who is in awe because children make life feel so "new" again. The things they say sometimes fuels my creativity and although raising children isn't easy, now that they are a bit older I can see myself in them and this brings me so much joy. 

The most important part of being a mother is LOVE and I feel this all of the time when my children hug me and say "I Love You Mommy." This is what Mother's Day is About. So, whatever you are doing this weekend and even if you do not have children, think about a woman in your life that has nurtured her family and has tried her best. 

We all know that no one is perfect and sometimes mom's can just "lose it." It comes with the day they decide to give birth because when they decide to bring someone in the world, they are no longer just "ME" people. If your mother has passed or you are estranged, send a card anyway even if it is only on this one day of the year. Rejoice on how far you have come and go pick some flowers!